We Find Ourselves Only By Looking Out at What Looks Back

#the100dayproject 2026

Journaling Scribbles

I’ve not slept much since Christmas. Sometimes I wonder if I am seeing everything through the veil of someone desperately trying to remember. Have I been writing like this since the day I discovered I was switching “there” for “their”, “here” for “hear” in my journal? If so, I was in my twenties when that began. Flowers for Margaux.

Yesterday, after three days of allowing the cold and ice to keep me from walking, I ventured out to my most oft-entered stomping grounds. I had to put the Jeep into four-wheel drive to pull into the unplowed parking lot that was walled in with the street’s plowed snow, now ice. The paved path that I never prefer, was plowed. I began my walk on it, but I was cold and thinking only about where to put my hands to find warmth. The result: nowhere. I had walked a mile or so and no voices and magical thoughts wandered in and my fingers were numb. For a photograph, I decided to step off the path and break through the glistening icy surface. Stomp, stomp. The effort was instantly warming, so I continued. Normal walking broke the ice only occasionally, making me overly cautious. I had to step with effort. I stomped until I found the path along the river where pot sherds and glass fragments are always available for those looking, though I’d not look today. The trail was thin and iced over, revealing evidence of a walker or two, an excited dog skittering back and forth, and mountain bike tracks. On the path, my feet were like the metal ball in Bagatelle, navigating the nails for a path forward. When I grew weary, I’d sidestep and stomp a new path. Stomp, stomp. I liked the effort of it. The blood went straight to my ungloved fingers, warming them thoroughly. I unzipped my coat. I can only imagine how my brain would light up in a scan.

I’d ventured out to narrow down the too many ideas I have for my 100 Day Project this year. I don’t ever remember so much deliberation. In the past, an idea would appear and I’d accept. This is how it’s gone for the last eight years. Why is this year different? Perhaps I am taking myself too seriously. Or perhaps I need sleep.

Upon gathering photographs for this chaotic post, I came upon this photograph, and made my decision: 100 Days of Self Portraits, (loosely.) I’ll likely pair them with words as well.

We Find Ourselves Only By Looking Out at What Looks Back

(But don’t name a thing too tightly…)

Søren and Silas, 2018

This year’s ideas:

100 Days of Tiny Tins — 10 tins for 10 people each filled with 10 things. I’ve thought deeply on this one and love the energy of it, but the randomness and ten-ness feels less everyday-able. And I’ve already started, and have sent the tins out into the world. Perhaps this will always be a side project.

100 Days of Self Portraits — This thought arose as I was prompted to remember a project long ago abandoned. I’d use my old camera that Søren dug up and made me a strap for, alongside drawings, found things, and words. There is so much to uncover before I disappear.

100 Days of Mabel — a character in a picture book I’d love to bring to life.

100 Days of a drawing paired with words, templated

and this, added by Ashley in conversation yesterday:

100 Days of Pearl — “Imagine the openings and so many ideas on our list satisfied”, she said, and listed them: “Pearl Necklace, Oyster and Pearl Bags, Stationery” but these are Peg and Awl things and though tempting, the 100 Day Project is for me, Margaux. It is important for me to hold on to some part of myself alone.

100 Days of Bookbinding — I can imagine a wonderful old shelf filled with so many investigations of this beloved vessel, the book.

Fragments

Past projects:

100 Days of Plants — I did this a few years. I drew plants from life and I learned so much and can probably benefit from this same prompt year after year.

100 Days of Flossie — another character from another picture book. So many abandoned projects, yet I accumulate so many fragments year after year.

100 Days of Left-Handed Journaling — This turned into one of my favourite projects for 3 years!

100 Days of Poems — I wrote a poem a day sent them in the mail to friends also partaking. This continued for 1.5 years!

100 Days of Tetra Pak Prints — last year’s adventure

Thank you for reading! And if you are partaking in #The100DayProject Newsletter , what have you decided and how did you come to the decision?