Thank you for partaking — I was psyched to see your Pantoum in the comments! Your poem is lovely, I think the leaving out of bits and the repeating others is a magical way to share a dream (and re-experience?!) I love the first line and the emphasis in the end — a perfect dream location - in that city, you know the one.
I love the structure of this prompt, it unlocks so many possibilities. Often, when we struggle to share our dreams with others, we recount the things that happened but are unable to communicate the way the dream felt or the emotional impact it had upon us. Where in your poem it makes me feel as though I’ve had this dream myself… maybe I was there too…
Okay, here goes:
In that city, you know the one
Sharp as a broken bone, knife-edged,
There’s you and I, arrayed against the odds,
Bruised and Bloodied in the endless struggle
Sharp as a broken bone, knife edged,
Black and ivory, gold and glass, concrete
Bruised and Bloodied in our endless struggle,
I am hard as ice, and twice as cold
Black and ivory, gold and glass, concrete,
Wings tattooed on my back to let me fly,
I am hard as ice, and twice as cold,
I am here, and know the things I lack:
Wings tattooed on my back to let me fly
There’s you and I, arrayed against the odds,
I am here, and know the things I lack,
In that city, yeah, you know the one.
Thank you for partaking — I was psyched to see your Pantoum in the comments! Your poem is lovely, I think the leaving out of bits and the repeating others is a magical way to share a dream (and re-experience?!) I love the first line and the emphasis in the end — a perfect dream location - in that city, you know the one.
Thank you! This is a lovely exercise; I’ve done it a few times since then. And thank you so much for posting it.
I love the structure of this prompt, it unlocks so many possibilities. Often, when we struggle to share our dreams with others, we recount the things that happened but are unable to communicate the way the dream felt or the emotional impact it had upon us. Where in your poem it makes me feel as though I’ve had this dream myself… maybe I was there too…
So you were there! It was you and your family!🤣 you often invade my dreams Claire…
Wow. Love this creativity and process. Wow. Thank you. Sparks my imagination and curiosity.
Thank you Susan! Will you try a dream pantoum?
Yes! Thinking about it. What fun.